


Light Yagami and the Resurrection Stone

by Smritz



Series: The Boy Who Lived And Picked Up A Notebook [3]
Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Beyond Birthday is his own warning, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Hogwarts Eighth Year, L and Light Go To Hogwarts, M/M, Marauders, Parenthood, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Resurrection, Resurrection Stone, Romance, Second Chances, Sequel, Serial Killers, Severus Snape Being a Bastard, Weird Plot Shit, but i swear it makes sense, minor PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-09 23:40:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15278760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smritz/pseuds/Smritz
Summary: A natural progression of being the (former) World’s Most Powerful Wizard would be actually attending a Wizarding school. In any other situation, this would be fine and dandy: owls and wands and rival houses and classes that teach you to break the laws of physics.However, this isn’t any other situation, this is Light Yagami in the aftermath of the Second Wizarding War, with pissed-off serial killers tracking his every move and zombies coming back from the dead with the help of the idiotic agent of chaos, Ryuk. With L by his side (because how could it be any other way?), Light has to make sure they get through what has to be his toughest school year yet.OPEN FOR MAGIC (OR NON-MAGIC) BASED PROMPTS THAT I WILL INCLUDE AS I PROCEED WITH THE MAIN PLOT!





	1. Prologue (The Resurrection Stone)

Severus Snape found that death was quite a comfortable place. It was nice and soft, though maybe a little musty, kind of like a wet carpet in a basement (he would know a lot about those). It was dark, as was expected, and since he had been incinerated to death, it made sense that he would be a little cold now.

Thinking about how he died made him feel how he felt back when James Potter swore to Lily that he would stop jinxing her greasy haired childhood friend…and then jinxed him within the next ten minutes. It just wasn’t _fair_. He was the Dark Lord’s favourite, his most devoted servant (if you counted out the Bellatrix Lestranges the serpentine man managed to pick up from god knows where).

He was supposed to die from an Avada Kedavra, like a respectable wizard. Even being mauled by the Dark Lord’s diseased, Horcrux-infested snake would have been preferable to being burnt to death like a piece of paper.

Well, at least he didn’t have to live with himself anymore. Having Lily’s death on his conscience was bad, but it wasn’t like he had anything to live for besides that. He was the son of abusive parents, an unpopular teacher (and abusive himself, he had to admit). Worst of all, in his entire life he had had _one_ non-Lily friend, and that asshole basically played everyone and raised his true love’s son to be a pig for slaughter, making Snape’s whole ‘keep Harry Potter safe to make it up to Lily’ pledge a moot point.

Yeah, life hadn’t been doing much for him. Just lying here in this…mud, was it? Yeah, it seemed like mud. Lying in this mud, feeling it squelch between his fingers as he contemplated life and death was a pretty good fate to have.

Death wasn’t bad at all. For one, he never again had to see James Potter’s insufferable grin on Harry’s face every time he tried to catch a glimpse of Lily’s eyes.

To think in another universe, Harry could have been Snape’s child.

He would never have picked as impoverished a name as Harry. Snape would probably have named him (with Lily’s consent, obviously) something sophisticated and polished, indicating a brilliant future, something like Alastair, Nathaniel or Albus (probably not Albus, though. He didn’t want to honour Dumblebrat, the man who had forced him to sully his hand with murder, who plotted to have Lily’s son die at the hands of the most soulless (literally) Dark Lord the Wizarding world had ever seen).

Ah, he could just imagine that innocent, pudgy child with Lily’s large green eyes and Snape’s long, sallow face, greasy hair tinted red. Oh, the _brains_ that would have existed inside that sweet noggin. Just imagining Lily’s brains combined with his own gave him a shivery, giggly feeling.

The bravery and kindness that would have filled him from Lily, and the determination and loyalty that would come from Snape himself. He could have been the _best_ child, the _smartest_ , _wisest_ , most _brilliant_ child to ever exist…but instead, thanks to his stupidity and Lily’s stubbornness, he was Harry Potter, and they all had to settle for that.

“Ugh.” He heard himself groan, which was strange in itself (he could _hear_ now?), but then he started hearing other things as well. The wind whistling through the trees, the soft sound of a woman sobbing, a man joining her with a wail of fright, and the cackling of what could only be the Dark Lord’s most insufferable companion, the Death God Ryuk.

Was this the afterlife? He had much preferred it alone, thank you very much. Could Death Gods die? He found that a bit weird, who could kill a Death God? Was there a higher tier of Death Gods?

Come to think of it, Ryuk had mentioned a Shinigami King several times, Shinigami being the Japanese word for creatures who came to kill humans and take their souls. Had the King of the Shinigami killed Ryuk?

Was he trapped in this muddy afterlife with _Ryuk?_

(Was this Hell?)

With an impatient, long-suffering sigh, Severus Snape opened his eyes. A night sky shone above him, stars sprinkled like salt over a black tablecloth. He could identify Orion’s Belt but not much else.

Wait a second. Why did Hell contain Orion’s Belt in the first place? What kind of a Hell was this, with mud and leaves and a starry sky?

This looked like the Forbidden Forest.

The thing is, Snapes wouldn’t have doubted that the Forbidden Forest was some kind of hell (with Hagrid living in it, it wasn’t hard to be) but he doubted it was _the_ Hell, the one where sinners went to roast for all eternity.

Ryuk’s cackling pretty much confirmed that. He doubted that the Death God would be so happy inside a pot of boiling oil (unless he was the Devil himself. It wasn’t hard to imagine). “Next in line! He’s awake!” The Shinigami managed to say, incoherent in his excitement.

Snape sat up, noting that he was in his grubbiest teaching robes, the spills of potions unknown decorating almost every inch of the rough black fabric. He scowled, looking around and pausing at a familiar face.

A white-blond teenager with a sheepish look was standing beside a prim-and-proper beauty in her forties who seemed to have been crying for a long time, and didn’t look like she would stop anytime soon. The boy, who was in his Slytherin robes and held his mother in a tight embrace, gave Snape a respectful nod.

“He loves you best! Hahaha! He loves you, hahaha! You’re the only dead person he loves! This is so fun!” Ryuk danced about, his feathers ruffled in the wind. “Now your turn!”

Before Snape could even open his mouth to make a withering comment, the Shinigami shoved a smooth pebble into the hands of the former Headmaster of Hogwarts. “Take it! Hahaha!”

Snape looked at the pebble, rubbing the smooth surface with the base of his thumb. Those markings, that dent in the side… Snape’s head snapped up to see the most beautiful apparition he had ever laid eyes on whisper into existence. A willowy woman in her late teens, red hair sweeping her shoulders, walked along with a spring in her step and a serene smile on her face. She looked at him and her smile grew stiff as she regarded the situation.

“The Resurrection Stone.” Snape breathed in awe.

Lily Potter blinked at him, one hand going to flick her red hair over her shoulder. “Sev? What’s happening? Why are you…covered in mud?”

Ryuk cackled in glee. “ _Resurgemus!”_ The Shinigami floated upside down towards the stone in Snape’s hand and tapped it twice with a knotted black wand he knew too well.

“The Elder wand. You have stolen the Elder wand from the Dark Lord!” Snape gasped, dropping the stone to the ground. Ryuk made an exasperated sound, flapping his wings as he landed to pick it up.

“I’ve killed the Dark Lord, _Snape_. Catch up with the news, will ya? He was boring as the Shinigami realm. Light-o was so much better, and _he_ was just a random muggle teenager.” The Death God looked at Lily Potter, who now seemed less ethereal and more…real. Tangible, almost, with her flushed tanned skin and bright copper hair gleaming in the starlight. “Yep, next in line. Catch!”

Lily gasped as she caught the Resurrection Stone in one delicate swoop. “What is happening?” She asked, her voice tinkling light as a bell, taking Snape back to grassy meadows and unfolding flowers.

“Hahaha!” Ryuk sniggered. “Looks like you’ve invited a whole troupe! How long ago did you die? Just about all of your loved ones are dead too, hahaha!”

“What is _wrong_ with you?” Draco Malfoy, the boy who had been disembowelled and torn apart by the Dark Lord’s bare hands himself (the boy who, apparently, loved him enough to summon him through the Resurrection Stone), piped up. “What the bloody hell are you anyway?”

Ryuk turned his leer to the white-blond boy. “I’m a Shinigami. A Death God. You can call me Ryuk. As for what is wrong with me, so far, I’m bored! I’m bored, and the Shinigami King refuses to allow me to trail Light ever again, so I’m looking for the next best thing. Some actual entertainment!”

“Well, I can sympathise with that.” A lazy, cavalier voice floated in from the woods. Snape stiffened instinctively, his hand rummaging through his robes for his non-existent wand. “Death is pretty boring, as far as I can remember.”

“The fuck can you remember, Padfoot? I certainly can’t remember a bloody thing.” Another smooth voice rose from the darkness, and Snape could see Lily snap her head in their direction, her green eyes wide in excitement. Her gleeful smile sent a pang of pain through the Potions Master’s heart.

“James!” Lily cried, sprinting to the messy-haired Quidditch player and diving into his strong arms like a bloody soap opera star. “Sirius! Remus! Peter!”

“Peter?” Sirius and Remus, in all their youthful glory, turned to the pudgy boy who had joined them. “Pettigrew, you fucking bastard!” Sirius leaped at the boy, managing to get in a knock on the head before James pulled him back.

“Padfoot, calm down, you bloody idiot! What have you got against Wormtail?”

Sirius turned to him, his handsome teenaged face twisted in fury. “He betrayed you! He betrayed all of us! He became a Death Eater and turned to Voldemort’s side!”

James Potter looked at him through round spectacles. “Is that true, Wormtail? Pettigrew?”

Lily frowned. “They didn’t torture the key to the Fidelus charm from you? You gave it to them willingly?”

The pudgy boy quivered in his place, wide-eyed and frightened out of his mind. Snape wasn’t surprised when the coward burst into tears. “They _did_ torture me! The Dark Lord forced me to!”

“That is a lie.” Snape found himself drawling. “Pettigrew offered himself to the Dark Lord on a silver platter.”

All eyes turned to the sallow-faced man, who had brushed off his robes and stood up straight. Lily’s eyes boggled out of her head. “Sev! You’re…you’re so…old!”

Snape sighed. “Not that old, Lily, I’m thirty-eight. This is Draco Malfoy’s fault. The Resurrection Stone summons your heart’s desire from beyond the grave. Apparently the Malfoy boy considers me a surrogate father due to the incompetence of Lucius Malfoy.”

James snickered. “Well, you look handsome as ever, Snivellus.”

Snape raised his eyebrows. “And you look like a child, Potter. You died a child, and you have come back the same way.”

“Why you…!” The father of Harry Potter hunted his robes for his wand and came out disappointed. “Damn it! Where’s my bloody wand?”

Ryuk sniggered above them all, his wings flapping as he settled on a low tree branch. “As interesting as this is, I should probably explain some rules to you before the game begins.”

Narcissa Malfoy finally stopped sobbing to glare up at the Shinigami. “Game? What game? That wasn’t in our deal, Death God!”

Ryuk leered at the blond witch. “I’m sticking to our deal, Narc. Your son is out of it. Now, for the rest of you, listen up.” The Marauders gathered around the tree, while Snape watched from a little way off. “I’m not actually supposed to be bringing you back to life, since it’s against the law for Shinigami to be doing anything but ending the lives of humans. However, I smashed the Shinigami King in a hand of poker, so I get to play with my new toy a little. I picked a wizard at random, Narcissa Malfoy, who wanted their loved one back from the dead and started a little chain.”

Snape bristled. “The Elder wand and the Resurrection Stone are not toys, they are the _Deathly Hallows_ -”

“Oh, give it a rest with your Dark Art snobbery, Snivellus.” James snarked. “Nobody wants to hear it.”

Before Snape could think of a retort to that, Ryuk continued his explanation. “So, like, you guys are resurrected, but I’m going to be following you. And within the year, the lot of you are going to be dead. It really depends on how interesting you are. If you bore me you’re likely dead within the week.” Ryuk paused a second to let it sink in. “All except for Draco there, he’s safe because his mother volunteered to take his place. The Shinigami King has a hard-on for love. You’d know all about that, Lily Potter.”

Draco turned to his tear-stained mother, incredulous. “Mother! He has to be joking, you didn’t volunteer to die for me!”

Narcissa Malfoy forced a brave smile. “Why, Draco, we have to continue the Malfoy line somehow. Besides, you will lead a much more fulfilling life than me. You are young, and still have so much ahead of you. The widow of Lucius Malfoy doesn’t count for much in this world.”

Draco’s grey eyes widened. “Wait, Father’s _dead?”_

Snape was touched by this display, but, of course, Potter had to ruin everything. “So, Ryuk...how entertaining we are determines how long we live?”

Ryuk shrugged his feathery shoulders. “Yeah. It’ll be a year or so for most of you. Sorry, but I’m an impatient guy.”

“Well, well, then, Snivellus. Your time is running out.” Potter turned to Snape, smirking.

Black joined in with his smug little grin. “Tick-tock.”

Lupin, however, was silent. “My wife…Ryuk, may I have a turn with the Resurrection Stone?”

All the Marauders (Potter, Black and Pettigrew) turned to Lupin. “You’re married?”

Lupin smiled abashedly, but didn’t take his eyes off of the Shinigami, who grimaced, hiding his sharp white teeth. “Hmm…nah, I should probably not push my luck. Lily Potter here summoned way too many people in one shot.”

The werewolf turned white, and his friends stepped in front of him. “Hey! Come on, Ryuk, it’s just one person. It’s his wife!” Potter shouted.

Sirius crossed his arms. “I promise I’ll make sure they have the most entertaining sex, alright?”

Ryuk rolled his eyes. “Look, I don’t care if it’s his wife or his baby daughter. I don’t actually care about any of this. I’m done here, do your thing and keep me entertained or I’ll murder you. Cool?”

James picked up a sizeable rock, much to Lily’s horror, but the Shinigami merely tittered and turned translucent. “Humans sure love throwing their rocks. Hey, on a side note, if you want to live longer, talk to this guy called Light Yagami and his friend Lawliet. They’re fun. I’ll award you bonus points if you plot a scheme with them or pit them against each other.”

Snape frowned. “Light Yagami? As in, Kira?”

Draco gasped behind them. “Kira’s still alive?”

Lily gave them a suspicious look. “Where do we find these people?”

Ryuk snickered. “They’ll be in Hogwarts this year, so chop-chop! Get to work!” He gave Lupin a shifty glance. “Unless you want to die and join your wife. I’m more than happy to oblige you.”

Potter stepped in front of his werewolf friend. “Don’t you threaten him. He hasn’t done anything to you.”

Black lounged languidly on a tree. “Chill, Potter. The fucker isn’t killing any of us until we bore him. Remus has nothing to worry about, he’s the most interesting one here. Just wait for his time of the month.”

The Shinigami grunted in approval. “Well, looks like someone’s got it! Also, make sure to keep this a secret, the King won’t be too happy with me if all the wizards in the world know that Shinigami are bringing people to life. So this whole resurrection thing _never happened_ , got it? If you tell anyone about me, I’ll kill you immediately.” Ryuk cackled. “I’ve got to be off now, hunting for some juicy, juicy apples. You’re free to enter the world!” With that, the Shinigami flapped his wings and disappeared into the darkness of the Forbidden Forest.

Sirius Black snickered loudly, patting Potter and Lupin on the backs. “Welcome back to life, everyone! Does anyone know what year it is?”

Snape made a dismissive sound. “I strongly suspect, due to Narcissa Malfoy’s distressed state, it is within a year since the Second Wizarding War, which was eighteen years since the First one.”

Black raised his elegant eyebrows. “Nice job, we’re doing fantastic, defeating the Dark Lord twice!”

Lily sighed. “My Harry would be seventeen or so, wouldn’t he?”

Black grinned cockily, pushing back his abundant raven hair. “Yes, and he’s a wonderful child, Lily. The perfect combination of James’ idiocy and your kindness. Sweet child, he is.” Snape did a double-take before he remembered that Black had met Harry. He had died ever so recently. And Lupin…he had died only hours before Snape himself. How come they got to come back to life in youth while he was stuck in his old Professor form? This wasn’t _fair!_

The Potions Master clasped his hands together resentfully. “It is quite likely that they are organising an Eighth Year at Hogwarts, with the abysmal conditions of the place under my care. We shall find Harry Potter and Light Yagami in the same place.”

When Lily turned her attention to him, her green eyes wide and sparkling, Snape felt like he might die (again), and somehow it was all worth it.

“Yes! I can’t believe I’m about to meet my son! Sev, you have to tell me everything about him. If you became a teacher at Hogwarts, you must have been close to him, right?”

Sirius and Remus snickered as they began to walk in the approximate direction of the Hogwarts castle, both in on the joke that neither Lily nor James had lived long enough to know.

“Oh, was he ever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally finished some seven chapters on this story, so I'm going to post it up as I write! I'm so glad I'm returning to the Harry Potter-verse for a bit, it's so much fun to write! (I really hope it's just as fun to read XD)
> 
> Give me some love! Review and comment! Give me suggestions, I'd love the feedback! :D


	2. Proximity

It baffled L how Hermione Granger insisted on sticking close to him at all times.

“So what’re you doing?” The brunette’s curly brown hair fell in front of her face as she leaned in to peer at L’s laptop screen.

The detective flinched away, giving her a dirty look. The two of them were perched on a spare bed in the Burrow, their temporary residence for about a week until term started on the first of September. L had initially protested moving out of his new Tokyo apartment (he hadn’t really spent enough time in it to justify buying it for him and Raito-kun), but eventually Light’s (incredibly condescending) common sense won out. The Weasleys were experienced wizards, they knew how to prepare for the start of the term, what to buy and how to buy it. It only made sense that L shifted headquarters for a bit, though he didn’t have to like it.

L shifted so his screen was tilted away from the girl. “You are invading my private space.”

There was a snort from the other side of the room, where Light darted an amused glance at the two of them from over his abundant collection of books about magic. Now that he had reason to study up on it, he was doing all of the research (and more) that L had done when they had first learned about the existence of wizards. An opportunist to the core, the brunet was. If he had been looking their way, he would have seen the nasty look the detective was throwing at him.

Hermione sniffed. “I wasn’t _invading your private space_ , it just looked interesting.”

L pursed his lips, tapping busily into his laptop. Finally, he looked up at her and sighed. “It’s a case for the London police. Double homicide, no witnesses.”

Hermione widened her eyes. “Awesome. You’re a detective?” She cocked her head to the side. “How old are you?”

L grunted as he sent in a few scathing messages to the police at the scene. “Twenty-five. Consultant detective, not limited to any one country.” He glanced up at her. “If you keep this a secret, you may have this gumdrop.” Carefully between his index finger and thumb, he picked up one of the several sweets in the package beside his hip and placed it on her palm.

Hermione laughed. “No problem, I won’t tell anyone.” She chewed the gumdrop and frowned. “Oh, it’s a muggle gumdrop. You haven’t raided the pantry yet?”

L made a face. “I do not like the dilution of my sweets with petty magical tricks.”

From behind his wall of books, Light chuckled, pages rustling as he flipped through his latest encyclopaedia. L tried not to respond, but he felt his lips tugging up anyway.

Hermione was watching him keenly, grinning. “We should really set you two up on a date.”

Light raised his head to give her a withering look. “We live together, Hermione. We’re practically married. There’s really no need.”

L felt his face heat up. _Practically married?_ “Raito-kun, I think you are overestimating the extent of our relationship.”

The young man seemed barely affected by that, casually flipping to another page and absorbing the miniscule text around what looked to be an illustration of a house elf gutting itself and a wizard pulling out its intestines with tremendous effort. L waited a few seconds for a response, then snuggled back into his pillows with a huff, going back to his case.

It was not going well. Both victims had been brutally tortured, their tendons cut on all limbs before they were killed by injection of (far beyond) a lethal dose of epinephrine, causing each of them to die of a heart attack (yes, he saw the parallels with Kira’s method and had briefly considered prominent Kira supporters as suspects, but neither of the victims had been criminals of any kind so he had quickly dismissed it). L had three suspects at the current moment, and two of them were high-profile businessmen who were likely to buy their way into alibis before the goddamned police could take them into custody. And worst of all, his third suspect would definitely not be caught by the police, not unless he wanted to be (and if it was he who was responsible for the murders, L would involve the Secret Service).

Hermione sat up straight. “Well, I still think a date would be a good idea. You guys look like you’ve _never_ been on one. Anyway, while I think your work is fascinating, L, I’m going downstairs, alright?”

L waved her away. “Go on, then.” Hermione, very briefly, looked offended before flouncing off. L’s black eyes followed her discreetly as she made her way out.

“Raito-kun?”

Light didn’t look up, apparently immersed in the text below the grotesque house-elf/wizard illustration. L drummed his fingers on his knee impatiently. “Raito-kun?”

“Hmm?” Light flipped the page, still reading intently. L considered leaving him alone, but he was ashamed to say that one whole day of not talking to Raito-kun because he was studying was starting to get on his nerves.

“Raito-kun, why does Hermione hang around me so much?”

Light snorted as he ran a finger down a wall of text but didn’t say much else.

L pouted. “Raito-kun, I asked you a question.”

Light looked up, honey-brown eyes finding L’s distractedly. “You want to know why Hermione likes you?”

L shrugged. “Yes. I’m not nice to her, like you are to everyone.”

The brunet turned back to his book. “Yeah, but you’re interesting, I guess.”

“Well…so are you…”

Light smiled. “Yeah, well. You’re weird. She’s probably trying to figure you out. That’s how I started out too.”

“It is?” L was desperate for conversation with his Raito-kun. He was tired of the case, tired of the lack of leads (and tired of how all the leads he did have pointed prominently to a certain raven-haired former successor he did not want to think about…). “How so?”

The young man pattered his fingers restlessly on the surface of his desk. “Did you know dementors have the ability to change your brain chemistry? They don’t just suck out most of your magic, they also force a withdrawal of the dopamine in your brain and make you to simulate the conditions of clinical depression.”

L blinked, caught off guard. Tentatively, he hugged his knees. “Yes.”

“Did you know dragon’s blood can be used as an effective cleaning fluid due to a high presence of hydrochloric acid?” Light mused. “Hmm, I wonder if a dragon’s stomach digests the same way as a regular reptilian stomach.”

L gave him a deadpan expression. “You could just say you want me to leave you alone, Raito-kun.”

“Okay, then.” The boy turned to him and gave him a toothy smile. “I want you to leave me alone.”

With a sigh, L snapped his laptop shut and swung his legs off the bed, shuffling with a pronounced hunch out of the door with the computer tucked under his arm. As he passed Light’s desk, he gave the engrossed young man a lingering look before grimacing and storming out.

On his way down the rickety stairs, he noticed Ron Weasley sitting with his sister, Ginny, unpacking boxes and boxes of hand-me-down robes. Both Weasley siblings looked up as L passed them, Ginny giving the detective a radiant smile and Ron a more sarcastic one.

“He’s still studying?” Ginny asked, tossing a spangled purple robe onto the weathered couch. L gave her a once-over. Was he only known for being Light’s boyfriend? He was L, the world’s greatest detective! The police of London were depending on him to solve a homicide as they spoke!

The detective turned his face blank as a freshly-washed pebble. “Yes. However, I came here to work on my case in a fresh environment, so if you don’t mind me sitting here, I shall.”

Ron smirked amusedly. “He gave you the boot too, did he?”

L raised his eyebrows as he settled on the couch beside the spangled robe. “It is no surprise he kicked you out first, you are incapable of keeping your nose out of other people’s business.”

Ginny giggled as she discarded another robe. “Ron, could you try not to make it so easy?”

L smiled as he opened up his laptop and typed another command to the head detective at the London office. Ron made a strangled sound as he messed with the robes.

“These charity robes are for wankers. I think I’ll stick with my old ones from sixth year.”

Ginny sighed. “You can’t. Mum gave them away to the muggle-borns whose houses the Death Eaters torched. And no, before you ask, we’re not asking Harry to sponsor us. I’ve never been in a relationship I care about before, I am _not_ letting you ruin it.”

Ron raised his palms. “Okay, okay! I wasn’t going to ask anyway. What kind of a bloody beggar do you think I am?”

“A pretty awful one, you don’t look like you could charm the pants off a hooker.” An unfamiliar voice piped up behind them. The two Weasleys turned in the direction of the new voice and frowned.

“Who the bloody hell are you?” Ron asked, quizzical. Hermione’s voice floated from near the unfamiliar one.

“Oh, he’s a friend of L’s.” It now took a conscious effort for L not to take his eyes off the screen.

“So he’s a stranger then? You’re letting a stranger inside in the middle of the night?” Ron asked, bewildered.

Hermione laughed. “Oh, no, he’s not a stranger. He’s dropped in a couple times before, but both times L had been in Diagon Alley. He’s showed me a picture of them together and stuff, they grew up together.”

For a brief, shiny moment, L felt the world freeze in front of him as his eyes bored into his lit screen. Panic coursed through his bones. No, this couldn’t be happening. _A friend of his, the picture, grew up together_ , there was only one person he could think of who had all of these attributes, especially with those homicides in London…

L had already typed out the panic command into his laptop and had his finger on the send button before he lifted his cool, unfeeling gaze to the man standing beside Hermione Granger’s frizzy mane.

The detective’s eyes widened. An unrestrained snarl appeared on his lips before he pulled his blank mask back on. “You _idiot!_ What are you doing here?”

A tall blond stranger stood in front of him, a blond bob brushing his shoulders as he bit into a chocolate bar cockily. He wore torn up leather jeans and a leather vest over a ragged t-shirt that read crooked words L couldn’t bother himself to decipher. Mello smirked as he chewed on his chocolate. “We bugged your laptop. Well, by ‘we’ I mean Matt, on my orders.”

L threw off his blank mask. His idiot successor Mihael Keehl would not respond to blankness as well as Near would. “You have no authority to bug anyone’s laptop, or order Matt to do anything. You imbecile, if you’re here who am I emailing with? I’m giving you orders as we speak! And wait just one second, _you have a picture of my face?”_

Mello snapped his chocolate bar with his teeth, his blue eyes burrowing into him. His second-ranked successor had always looked up to him, and probably would for the rest of his life. It was unfortunate how emotional he was, he would have made a good L. He was proactive in a way that his first ranker, Near, could never be. “You’re communicating with Matt, don’t worry. Your orders are being carried out. I came here to check if you have made a decision about the successor question.”

“Do you really think your actions today have put you in a favourable light?”

The blonde took two steps forward, his leather boots thumping on the ground. “Watari told me there’s a new person you’re considering for successor above Near and me.”

“If there is, it is none of your business, Mello. Leave before I dock your position further. Who becomes my successor is my decision only.”

Mello snarled. “I want to see him. Or her. I have worked hard all my _life_ to become your successor, L! This isn’t fair! You can’t just displace me for some random dude you meet on a _case!”_

L took a deep breath, digging out one of his emergency candies from his pocket and popping it into his mouth. “Mello. You are highly unprofessional. That is not a trait of L. I am docking your position by one. From today, Matt is the second-ranked successor. I shall alert Watari of the same.”

The younger man (he was eighteen, if he remembered it right) took a step back. “No. No, don’t, I’ll go. Don’t dock my rank, L!”

L raised an eyebrow. “Why shouldn’t I? You have bugged my laptop, dropped my case to follow me around, insulted my ability to pick my successors and, apparently, have a picture of me you have not reported to Watari.”

With shaking hands, Mello drew out a small, glossy photograph from his leather vest and handed it over to L. “This is the only picture, there are no copies, I swear!”

L studied it. It had been taken at Whammy’s House approximately seven years ago, when he had visited under the guise of Sheldon Hemlock in order to study his successors to come to a better conclusion about who he could pick (he didn’t, though. They were both lacking in essential places, it was quite sad, really. L was just such a perfect detective, neither Mello nor Near could really match up. Oh well). An eighteen year old L was crouching beside a mop of white hair that could only be nine-year-old Near and a bouncing blond preteen Mello in a loose black shirt. A little way away was the redheaded Matt, who was busy talking to himself as he played his handheld videogame.

L stared at it awhile before pocketing it and locking his laptop. He offered the computer to Mello, holding it up with thin, pale hands. “Debug it, Mello, and do it well. Warn me of any other bugs you may have placed on my technology. If I ever find one I have not been informed of, I shall have you removed from my successor program.”

Mello visibly shivered as he prodded the computer and pulled a slim silver instrument from under the spacebar. “This is the only bug we used, I’ll have Matt check wirelessly for any others.”

“You do that. And get out of here immediately.”

To his surprise Hermione, of all people, interjected. “Um, are you returning to London?”

Mello gives her a doubtful look. He darted a glance at L, who huffed. “Yes, Hermione. He is returning to London immediately.”

She frowned. “It’s a four-hour drive and it’s like eight p.m.”

“When did you become so bloody homely, Hermione?” Ron asked incredulously. Hermione gave him a scornful look.

“Some of us are just more sensitive to muggle issues than others, alright?”

Mello wrung his hands together. “I’ll be fine, no problem. Thank you.” He muttered, returning the laptop to L and walking out the front door.

Hermione shot an annoyed look at L, who was bewildered. “Why are you looking at me that way, Miss Granger?”

The brunette let out a little puff of air. “Is he not your friend?”

“Well, more like an employee…”

“He sure looked like a friend in that picture!”

L chewed on his thumbnail. “He wasn’t supposed to have that picture. It was taken without my knowledge or consent.”

“Well, that doesn’t matter, does it? What matters is you yell at a friend and send him back home in the middle of the night!”

The detective was unmoved. “I am not inviting him back in, if that’s what you’re hinting at. Please mind your own business, Hermione.”

The young woman made an indignant sound and stormed off. L noticed both Weasleys watching the proceedings with amusement and groaned, pulling out a pair of earphones from his pocket.

“Ginny. When your parents come in with dinner, get my attention. I cannot seem to stand people any longer.”

Ron laughed. “When can you ever?”

L mused as he stuck his earphones in his ears. “That’s a good point.” He dialled up the white noise and finally, after what seemed like forever, he could put all of his attention on his damn double homicide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Domestic L and Light is just about the most comforting thing I can think of XD
> 
> Review and comment! :D


	3. Wingardium Leviosa

Ginny was pretty certain at this point that Harry didn’t really want to go to Hogwarts again.

Her boyfriend had been depressed ever since the Battle of Hogwarts, and she knew his martyr complex couldn’t take the sight of so many people dying (for him, apparently, as if they didn’t have free will). So he spent all of his time staring profoundly at the ceiling or chatting with Luna Lovegood through the fireplace (yes, Luna was a really nice girl, but Merlin’s curling toenails, even _Neville_ couldn’t stand more than half an hour with her).

Ginny herself wasn’t half as affected as he was, but that was probably because she had been fighting with the DA covertly for ages. She had seen DA members tortured and taken away, she had seen muggle-borns plucked from their bedrooms on the first day of the term and herded like cattle into a holding room before they were taken god knows where. She had had time to cope. Harry had been relatively detached from the actual horrors of the year-long war, and so she was cutting him some slack. But how much slack was too much?

Ginny groaned as she stalked outside, her red hair whipping about in the wind as she marched to the field to fetch Ron for her mother. There were only two hours until the Hogwarts train arrived, so she was playing pageboy, running to find everyone and gather them around for the car-ride to King’s Cross Station (as if Apparating or the Floo System was too hard for her muggle-obsessed father to digest). Harry had been easy to find (moping in his room as always) as was L, who was working busily on his laptop with one of Molly Weasley’s cheesecakes sitting beside him, china plate and fancy spoon ready.

Ron, Light and Hermione were proving harder to find, though she had managed to scourge the brunette up on the front porch, writing a polite letter to Andromeda Tonks, the caretaker of Teddy Lupin (Tonks’ newborn child from before her untimely death in the Battle of Hogwarts).

As Ginny loped through the long grasses around the Burrow and called Ron’s name, she heard a loud whoop of triumph. The redhead frowned, pushing through the overgrowth to happen upon their old Quidditch patch, the field where the boys had all practiced their throws and chases (without her, but she showed them!) when they were children. She narrowed her eyes and squinted up at the overcast sky, just able to make out two black shapes whizzing about under the clouds.

Ginny couldn’t help but grin. Finally, she would get to actually use her broom for something! The Carrows hadn’t organised any Quidditch games throughout Sixth Year, so her feet itched to be suspended feet over the ground, eyes set on various flying objects that could potentially whack her across the face.

She sprinted over to the broom closet right outside the Burrow and pulled out her own Cleansweep Seven, mounting it and kicking off. She felt the cold air sting at her eyes and freeze her nose, but sighed with pleasure anyway. Her fiery hair whipped behind her. She tucked her legs underneath herself as she leaned forward, pressing her broom to its fastest speed, reaching the pair in the sky in no time.

“Conjuring spells only, Ron! You fucking airhead, the Death Note makes me immune to regular spells!” A laughing voice she hadn’t heard for a grand total of seven days declared.

“Okay! Okay, I’m doin- _Avis!”_ Her redheaded brother waved his wand triumphantly, a flock of golden birds erupting from its tip with a bang and flocking to Light, who was mounted on one of George’s old broomsticks. He ducked, amber eyes wide as he waved his wand at the tiny golden birds.

“Protego! Ah! _Protego!_ What the fuck, Ron, there are too many!” Light bobbled on his broom, raising his other hand to protect his face as the birds scratched at him.

Ginny watched as Ron’s face grew from victorious to concerned. _“Light!_ Oh, shit, I don’t know the counter-charm, uh, Finite Incantatem! Bloody hell!”

Light screamed and fell off of his broom, the birds collecting together and diving as one with him. Ron cried out, zooming towards the brunet with his wand upraised…but then all of a sudden the entire arrowhead of birds fell like dead mosquitoes to the ground. Light was laughing like a maniac, his glowing wand held tightly in the hand not gripping his broomstick.

“Petrificus Totalus! Fuck yeah!” Light whooped, swaying gently as Ron’s white face approached him, his hands held out.

“Light, bloody hell, take my hand! I’ll help you up!”

Light studied his redheaded friend. “You’re very sportsmanlike, Ron. Thank you.” He took the wizard’s hand and allowed him to help him back on the broom. Once he was settled straight on it, legs tucked firmly under the stick, he gave Ron a malicious smile. “However, we both agreed that this was a duel. _Wingardium Leviosa!”_

Ron wailed as he rose up above his suspended broom, his legs kicking the air futilely. “Merlin’s beard, Light, no! That was a _foul!_ You can’t attack me after a foul, Light, I was worried about you!”

Light crowed in jubilation. _“There is no sympathy in a duel to the death!”_

“This isn’t a duel to the death! _Put me down!”_ Ron screeched.

“You should really phrase yourself better, you know.”

The redhead turned beet-red. “You win, Light! You win! Put me back on my broom _now!”_

Light held out his hand. “Wand first, and acknowledge your defeat.”

Wobbling shakily in the air, Ron was placed his wand in Light’s hand. “I lose, okay? Bloody hell!”

With a charmingly toothy grin, Light guided Ron’s flailing body back to his broomstick and tossed his wand back to him. “I win the duel!”

“Only because you’re a cheater.” Ron snapped, but Ginny could see how red his face was. He was definitely not angry with the brunet, far from it. Her brother’s broom began to lower down onto the ground without so much as noticing Ginny’s presence. Light, though, was more observant and gave her a little wave.

“Hello, Ginny. Enjoyed the show?”

Ron looked up, his face so red it was almost purple. “Ginny? The fuck are you doing here?”

Ginny snickered. “I was supposed to get you guys for mum, the car’s waiting for you.” She darted a good-humoured glance at Light. “You’re so Slytherin it hurts.”

Ron snorted as the three of them drifted to the ground. “Oh, please. You should have seen him during the Battle of Hogwarts. Light ran at You-Know-Who while the bastard still had the Elder wand. It was bloody amazing. He’s a Gryffindor to the core.” He shrugged. “I’d even take Ravenclaw, with all the studying he’s been doing recently, but Slytherin? No.”

Light laughed. “Even the Locket Horcrux knew I’m a Slytherin, Ron.”

Ron frowned, looking at him as if he was crazy as they picked up their brooms. “That wanker Horcrux lied about bloody _everything_. Besides, you literally _died_ to bring my brother back. I really doubt that’s Slytherin behaviour. You’re bloody brave, Light. I can’t believe you don’t see that.”

They approached the broom closet, Ginny stuffing her own broom in first as Light smirked at her brother. “ _Courage is a Gryffindor’s quality, but they neglect how much of an iron will a Slytherin possesses.”_ Light winked. “Lord Voldemort told me that.”

Ginny raised her eyebrows. “You’ve talked to Voldemort in person? I remember you had the Dark Mark…”

Light shrugged as he shoved his broom into the closet. “No, I was playing a double-agent. The fucker had this thing called Legilimency where he could read my mind, so I had to commit a bit. Luckily, his rearranging my memories made hiding my thoughts a bit easier, considering my mind was an absolute mess.”

Ginny whistled. “Wow. You may be Gryffindor after all.”

Light tried to wave that away, but it was obvious he was flattered. “I’d really rather not be. You Gryffindors are all idiots.”

“Hey!” Ron yelped, socking his arm jovially. “You think you’re so smart, but just wait until you see Hermione answer in class. That’ll change your mind pretty quick.”

Light raised his chin haughtily, but let Ron linger around his arm. “We’ll see.”

The three of them entered the Burrow to a flurry of activity. Molly Weasley happened to pass by them and stop with her hands on her waist. “What were you three doing out here? I sent you out ages ago, Ginny!”

Ginny grinned. “Sorry, mum.”

“Now go get your things! I took the liberty of packing up your muggle belongings, Light, dear. There was enough space in the spare trunk Bill lent you. Go check on that, I don’t want to have put in something you don’t need. I also packed in your new cherry-wood wand, it arrived last night from Ollivander’s with your customisations, so don’t go looking for it.”

Light smiled, giving her a deep bow. “Thank you, Mrs. Weasley.” He then dashed upstairs to the guest bedroom he and L shared.

Ginny watched Ron watch Light go and felt a sudden affection for her brother. She knew how he felt, she had looked at Harry Potter the same way all the way until fourth year (when Hermione had forced her to move on). The youngest Weasley sibling gave her brother a sympathetic pat on the back and flounced off to find her stupid moping boyfriend, hoping that maybe the prospect of going to the place they had saved only half a year ago would make him cheer up.

No, it probably wouldn’t, would it?

Despite her thorough searching, though, it was outside, as they were having their belongings stuffed into the extendable boot of the car, that Ginny next saw Harry. He was standing a little apart from Hermione and Ron, who were engaged in a loud argument about whether or not house elves needed to work in the Hogwarts kitchen anymore.

Ginny approached the Boy-Who-Lived warily, watching him stare blankly at the sky. “Hey, um, Harry?”

“What?” The boy’s voice was empty, lukewarm. Ginny felt a spike of irritation.

“Nothing.” She said, crossing her arms and standing beside him as everyone began to bundle into the flying car. Hermione stopped her little tirade about the barbaric conditions of the Hogwarts Underground to give Ginny a concerned look. She could always count on Hermione to notice the tension. The youngest Weasley shrugged it away, smiling, and Harry, obviously, didn’t notice anything at all.

L and Light arrived last, out of breath, lugging their trunks behind them. “Hey, is there still room in there?” Light called. The Weasley Mother waved them over.

“Hurry up now! Yes, there is always room, everything’s extended in this bloody car. What were you two doing inside for so long?”

Light attempted to hide his blush by shoving his and L’s trunks into the boot of the car. The detective, however, had no qualms. “Raito-kun finally finished studying, so-”

“So we were working on L’s case together.” Light said hurriedly as he slipped into the car, squashing himself beside Ron and Hermione. L chuckled fondly, following him inside.

“There appears to be no room. Shall I sit on Raito-kun’s lap to make space?”

“Shut up, L! God.” Light shook his head as the raven-haired detective snuggled up to the brunet. “Such a fucking embarrassment.”

“Watch your language, boys!” Molly warned as she got into the shotgun seat, snapping her fingers impatiently at Ginny and Harry, who finally decided to enter the car.

And of course Harry had to insist on getting in last (as if that would help keep him from having to attend Hogwarts), which meant Ginny was stuck sitting right next to the most romantic couple she had ever had the misfortune to meet (why couldn’t she and Harry be this couple? Damn it, she had wanted him for years and years, and when she finally got him he had to have given up on life).

At least she wasn’t Ron. The poor guy was stuck between Light, who was busy squirming to avoid L’s gropes, and Hermione, who insisted, in her loud, self-righteous voice, on justifying the removal of house elves from all unpaid jobs (and, really, what was the counter argument for that?).

Ginny nearly sobbed when L nipped the side of Light’s neck and the brunet elbowed him so hard that the detective ended up on her knees. “Blimey, L, I’m going to jinx you!”

L snorted. “Give it your best shot.”

“So! Light and L!” Arthur Weasley’s booming voice came from the driver’s seat and every Weasley in the car groaned. “Do either of you know how to work a muggle radio?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These banter chapters are my absolute favourite <3
> 
> Review and comment! :D


	4. King's Cross

Light had kind of expected this, but he hadn’t expected it to be so damn explicit.

Every man, woman and child within a seven yard radius was staring at Harry Potter.

It had all started from when they actually sprinted into the pillar (who had come up with that idea, anyway?) smack-dab in the middle of King’s Cross station. A witch (he presumed, by the weird hat and purring tabby in her arms) stopped in front of them and just stared open-mouthed at Harry’s scar until Mrs. Weasley gave her a taste of Fierce Motherly Protectiveness (Light kind of wished he had a mother like Mrs. Weasley. Yagami Sachiko was a very affectionate woman…but she sure loved his grades a lot more than she loved him). Harry handled the attention much like Light himself would have, by ignoring it completely.

Curiously, Ginny Weasley, Harry’s girlfriend, was a lot more pissed at the Boy-Who-Lived than the people staring at him.

“Raito-kun, do you like dogs?” L asked offhandedly as he dragged his long black trunk behind him. Light raised his eyebrows.

“Why? Thinking of buying one?”

L cocked his head, interlacing his pale fingers with Light’s as he finally caught up. “If you want one, sure, but the reason for my inquiry is the large black dog watching you from the shadows there.”

Light twisted around, eyes wide, and followed L’s pointing finger to find that indeed, there was a dog watching them intently from under a stairwell, its eyes glinting menacingly as it prowled, its powerful body larger than any dog he had ever seen in Tokyo. “Holy _shit_. I hope that’s a witch pet, like those goddamn cats.”

L nodded. “Not to worry, Raito-kun, someone seems to be picking it up.” A dark wizard in swishing robes appeared and fastened a collar around the dog, which immediately growled and snapped its jaw at him, feral. Light let out a breath, starting to turn away but stopping when he caught a glimpse of the wizard’s pale, sallow face.

Hooked nose, greasy hair, stern black eyes and mouth perpetually twisted in disgust…

Light’s eyes widened. “What the fuck?” He dragged L along with him as he dashed at full speed to the stairwell, stopping right in front of it, partially blocking the wizard’s exit. L banged into him as he came to a full stop.

“Raito-kun, _merde_ , at least give me some warning…!” The detective frowned. “Wait a second…”

“Severus Snape!” Light cried out, delighted. The sallow-faced man looked startled, but soon enough his expression softened to something closer to amusement.

“Yes, indeed, Kira. I have returned to Hogwarts. I suppose you are the hero to thank for my _posthumous_ Order of Merlin First Class?”

Light grinned. “No, I’m sorry, I think that was Harry Potter. Though the fact that we all saw you die contributed greatly.”

The wolf-dog at the end of Snape’s leash let out a happy yip which, for some reason, piqued L’s curiosity. The detective lurked around the dog, leaning over until he was eye-to-eye with it, his eyes narrowed as he nibbled on his thumbnail.

“So what gives? Voldemort burnt you alive!” Light exclaimed, making the corner of Snape’s mouth rise up in a sneer.

“It appears he did not succeed, else I would not be here, would I?”

The brunet shrugged. “I guess the Wizarding world has a thing for bringing people back from the dead. Anyway, I’m glad you’re back, Snape. I never got to properly thank you for your help.”

That made him finally smile his thin, humourless smile. “You are welcome, Kira. I am pleased you were able to utilise my sacrifices for your sake and kill the Dark Lord. Now, if you don’t mind, the train has arrived.” He brushed past the young man, stalking forward with long strides, his dog bounding along by his side.

L brushed his thumb against his lip. “Animagus.”

“Excuse me?” Light turned to his lover, who was frowning at the receding figure of the former Headmaster of Hogwarts.

“Animagus. A wizard who can turn into an animal. That was no dog. Snape is smuggling a wizard into Hogwarts.” The detective narrowed his eyes. “The only true indicator of Severus Snape’s innocence was his death, accompanied by the word of the previous Headmaster’s portrait.”

Light spread his hands. “And the fact that he helped me out, L! I would never have survived being Voldemort’s hostage if he hadn’t been there.”

L caught a hand and squeezed it. “You are very trusting, Raito-kun. Despite your general paranoia, you manage to be so innocent it baffles me. The fact that Snape is not dead means that Voldemort somehow managed to trick everyone, even the Shinigami, into thinking Snape was dead and sparing his life, an honour he would only bestow to his greatest servants. Snape, unlike you, did not have the protection of Gryffindor’s sword to come back from the dead. He is a regular wizard. Voldemort is the extraordinary one, he would be the one whose master plan is still operating despite his death.”

Light gave him a doubtful look. “I don’t know, L…his whole in-love-with-Harry’s-mother story had seemed pretty legitimate. I’m good at spotting liars, I swear.”

L cracked a smile. “Oh, Raito-kun. Don’t worry, this is just a theory. Come along, now, the Weasleys will be looking for us and you made me leave my trunk back there with your mad dash.”

They exited the stairwell into the bustle of wizards and witches boarding the train and saying goodbye to their loved ones, reminding Light distinctly of one of the first few scenes of Titanic (his past girlfriends almost always had the CD at home and demanded they watch it to get the atmosphere going. Light wasn’t complaining, he always got some action by the end of it). When he was away from the Boy-Who-Lived, the world seemed more correct, recognisable. If anyone stared at them at all in this milling crowd, it was usually a girl about his age, and they weren’t exactly staring at him for anything he had done.

It kind of made him feel how he did arriving at the To-oh initiation, before his speech, before anyone knew he was the (joint) first ranker giving the freshman address.

“Raito-kun, I found our trunks, nobody has touched them. The train is about the leave, let’s board.” L fluidly elbowed past a family, kicking Light’s trunk towards him and hopping past a struggling first year onto the train. Light smirked, chucking his trunk inside as he clambered in behind him.

The inside of the train was chaos, people walking about everywhere. L disappeared into the coach, he could just see his spiky black hair meld in with the rest of the people heading down the long aisle-way. Light attempted to claw his way through but was stopped by a flash of blond hair stumbling over his trunk. The brunet stopped, shocked, and whipped around to help the person up.

It was a girl, perhaps Ron’s age (making her two years younger than him), her flaxen hair in complete disarray as she gasped indignantly, swatting his hand away. “This is supposed to be outside, with the rest of the trunks! Why the bloody shit are you bringing it inside?” Her voice was loud and sharp, reminding him suddenly of Misa, though it wasn’t half as grating (and seemed to have a brain behind it). Light’s cheeks burned as he backed off.

“S-sorry, I’m new here, I don’t know where anything goes.”

The girl raised her head abruptly, her curling hair falling away from her face as green eyes skewered him through. “New, are you? You don’t look like a goddamn First Year. Levitate your bloody trunk out of the coach!”

Okay, that was offensive, but she was right, it was his (and L’s) fault that he hadn’t noticed nobody else bringing their trunks in. He whipped out his new cherry-wood-dragon-heartstring wand, the blushing red colour of the wood immediately cut with silver tendrils of power, and carefully manoeuvred his trunk around the crowd, out into the gathering of trunks he could now clearly see from his position at the entrance into the coach.

He hoped L hadn’t been similarly humiliated, though it would hardly faze the detective as it did him. Deed done, Light stuck his wand back into his new velvet robe and turned around to come face-to-face with the blond terror, who had fixed her long ponytail over her own green-and-silver trimmed robes and clasped her hands neatly in front of her.

“All done?”

_How fucking rude._ Light utilised his Japanese heritage to its maximum as he gave her a stoic, disapproving look, brushing past her to re-enter the aisle-way of the coach, his eyes roving the thinning crowd for the oblivious detective. He heard her pattering steps behind him and let out an aggravated sigh.

“Hey. Hey, sorry I yelled. Are you actually new here?” She caught his shoulder with a small hand. Light closed his eyes, willing himself some patience. He couldn’t see any of his friends around, and his phone wasn’t likely to work in this high-magic area.

“Yes, I am.” He yielded, glancing back at the girl’s quick green eyes. “I’d…appreciate you telling me where the Eighth Years would be.”

The blond girl smiled. “Oh, no, there’s no coach for the Eighth Years. We’re an extra year, so we just pile in with the others, fill in the gaps.” She laughed. “You’re transferring to Eighth Year? That’s…odd.”

Light shrugged. “It’s no odder than there _being_ an Eighth Year. Now, if you’ll excuse me…”

“Wait! Wait, my friends have gotten a compartment right here. You’re welcome to sit with us! We’re all Eighth Years too.”

The brunet cocked his head. “Is a weird hunchbacked guy in a sweatshirt sitting with you?”

The blond girl shook her head, bemused. Light turned away dismissively. “Then I’ll be looking-” The train suddenly jerked forward, and the young man caught the frame of one of the compartments to keep his balance. There was a loud toot, and the Hogwarts Express began to move violently forward. Light gripped the frame tightly to try to find his footing. “Wow, what the hell?”

He glimpsed back to see that the blond girl was in a similar situation. “It does this every time. It’ll be impossible to walk for the rest of the ride, I don’t know how the trolley witch does it. You can find your friends later, sit with us until the train stops.” She stuck out her right hand, the left wrapped firmly around the edge of the compartment. “Daphne Greengrass.”

Light considered for a minute, then put out his hand to receive it in a gentle handshake. “Light Yagami.”

“Yagami…ooh, that’s Japanese, isn’t it?” Daphne giggled. “I’ve been practicing ages for this! _Konnichiwa!”_

Light cringed. “Oh, God, don’t make me regret this.”

“Sorry.” Daphne bit her lip to stop her giggles. “Was that offensive?”

Light sighed. “No, just a terrible accent. Are you going to show me the way to your compartment?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s right this way.” The blond girl swung her way to a compartment door and slid it open, slipping inside. When Light didn’t move for a bit, she stuck her head back out and waved him over. “What’re you waiting for?”

Light took one last glance at the now-empty aisle-way and let out a breath. _Oh well._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha I've just been writing this story and forgetting to post for quite some time now XD
> 
> Review and comment! :D


	5. Hogwart's Express

L was more restless than he had been for a while.

Perhaps it was because he was sharing a compartment with Luna Lovegood (in carrot earrings and pink sunglasses) and three other imbeciles he didn’t know, or maybe it was because his laptop had stopped working because of the energy fluctuations of the high concentration of magic in the area. McGonagall had better created that magic-free room they had discussed, where he could work on his cases in his spare time and Light could catch up on the rest of his college work (predictably, he had refused to take another year off).

L refused to believe that he was restless because he had gotten separated from Raito-kun in the crowd. The detective was twenty-five years old, for God’s sake. He could spend a couple hours without the brunet, it was good for his introversion.

His case was in a particularly good place, Mello and Matt had retrieved a suspicious amount of proof in Luke Layfield’s apartment, the bloodied, shredded handkerchief of one of the victims, which immediately disqualified him from his suspect list. He was down to two businessmen and one BB. The fact that Layfield was being framed made him lean further towards his treacherous successor than anything else.

BB was the worst, really. He just kept popping up. He had been one of his potential successors a long time ago, shortly before another successor, A, committed suicide and triggered BB’s eventual madness. L had thought that after BB ran away from the orphanage he could finally wash his hands of the genius lunatic (no, he had never really thought that, who was he kidding?), but _no_ , he _had_ to go around killing and maiming the innocent people of Los Angeles.

Again, when he had successfully solved that case with the help of the brilliant Naomi Misora, he had thought the fucker would die in prison and he could finally get around to putting his full attention on training the newly recruited Mello, Matt and Near.

It had seemed like it would end that way, actually. BB had appeared to suffer a heart attack at the hands of Kira, and his body had been carted off out of the asylum…until he had torn apart all of the people in charge of transporting him and escaped into the night. A city-wide manhunt hadn’t been enough to track him down, and L had been too focussed on the Kira case at the time to actually put any mind into finding him (though he had to admit, BB was one of the few people who could elude even L if he put his mind to it). It had been quiet for a while, and L had started to believe that BB had actually settled down somewhere in hiding, having moved on from his obsession with L and was living a normal life.

He deserved a chance at a normal life, despite all his crimes. He had been a traumatised child when Whammy’s House had taken him in, with psychotic parents who drilled it into his head that he could see the lifespan of any human being (which, now that he knew Shinigami eyes existed, was a little worrying...but it wasn’t possible that BB had ever owned a Death Note. L would have noticed).

L had actually been quite fond of him while he had been his successor. L had even let him see his face, BB had been one of the few people he had trusted with that. He did not realise that his trust would result in a maniacal obsession and a quick descent of an exceptional mind into the depths of insanity.

“L? Are you having a dramatic flashback?” Luna’s dreamy voice floating from opposite where he was crouched. L blinked, coming back to the present moment. “The wrackspurts are positively teeming into your ears.”

L swatted at his ear, grabbing a single chocolate frog from the box he had bought from the trolley-witch. He bit off its legs before it could hop away. One of the Third Years in the compartment flinched as the detective brutally dissected the frog with his teeth. _Damn these fickle magic tricks_. He longed for an actual bar of chocolate. “No, Miss Lovegood, I did not have a dramatic flashback.”

The white-blond girl blinked. “I don’t mind if you keep it a secret. We all have dramatic flashbacks sometimes.” She pulled on her pink sunglasses and turned to a ginger Seventh/Eighth Year girl he would have mistaken for another Weasley if it hadn’t been for the almond-shaped green eyes. “Oh, you’re having one too!”

The Weasley imposter immediately turned to her friends and began to speak in an urgent, hushed tone that L knew was viciously attacking the poor blond girl that very moment. L felt sorry for Lovegood. It had taken a few years for L himself to get used to the social exclusion he felt because of his (mostly on purpose) quirkiness, Luna was probably not as immune to it as she acted either.

Oh well. Social exclusion came with its perks, like being allowed to let his hair get as spiky as it could, or sitting however he wanted to…or wearing pink sunglasses and carrot earrings as if they were the height of fashion. Perhaps he and Miss Lovegood were more alike than he had thought.

Luna suddenly gave him a smile that was more present in reality than anything he had seen from her before. “Can you see the Thestrals? We’re going to be at the castle in a few minutes. Hagrid’s let them free to graze all over the fields. I hope the train doesn’t hit one of them.”

L craned his neck out of the window and spotted the beasts she was talking about, strange skeletal horses with expansive bat-wings sprouting from fragile backs. The detective cocked his head. “They are fascinating. Only seen by those who have seen death, quite poetic. What happens if our memory of witnessing the death is Obliviated from us as we look at them?”

Luna let out a quiet sigh. “I wonder if the Thestrals know some of us can’t see them.”

L crinkled his nose as he bit into another chocolate frog. “I wonder if this frog is actually conscious.” He thought for a second. “No, it wouldn’t be, would it? If it was, everyone would see Thestrals.”

Luna didn’t acknowledge the sarcasm. L suddenly, desperately wanted his Raito-kun, and immediately berated himself for it. He wasn’t that clingy, he could take two hours with other people. L wasn’t as antisocial as that just yet, was he?

The train finally jerked to a stop and L unfolded his legs from the seat, flicking his Walnut-wood wand at his trunk and having it levitate behind him as he slumped along into the crowd.

He made it out into the makeshift platform in the middle of the field, on Luna’s tail as she pointed at where he had to drop his trunk and looped her way with the rest of the school down a narrow path leading to the large doors of the castle. L had only seen it twice before, once from afar and once while it was being demolished during the Second Wizarding War.

“They sure rebuild it quickly, don’t they?” Luna seemed to be reading his mind, her pale round eyes seeming to wash over him before drifting away. “It’s okay if you want to be looking for your boyfriend instead of walking with me, you know.”

L pursed his lips. “I am well aware of that, Miss Lovegood. However, I am more than capable of existing without my boyfriend for any stretch of time.”

“Alright then. He hasn’t seen you either.” The white-blond girl giggled as L immediately whipped around, his black eyes searching the buzzing crowd. Luna touched his shoulder lightly and pointed to his right, where he could see an auburn head bobbing a little above the masses. L gave her a grateful nod and sifted through the bustling witches and wizards to get to his boyfriend, trying not to smile.

No, he hadn’t felt in any way deprived, he was absolutely capable of being on his own. That bubbling feeling in his gut was just…a general contentment, he liked Raito-kun, of course he would feel a little happy to see him… L tried to control the smile pulling up his lips and failed, letting it take over, his teeth glinting white into the evening until he was close enough to hear the brunet laugh.

“Tell me more, this is getting interesting.” Light declared loudly to somebody, his voice cheerful and encouraging, the way it was when he was getting somebody to trust him.

“It’s not that bad!” A rich female voice asserted, and Light finally came into view, sauntering along, one hand flicking the red-brown hair out of his amused amber eyes. A slender girl with tumbling blond hair was not quite attached to him (as Amane Misa would have been) but was close enough to be brushing shoulders every now and then. The girl looked up at Light with large green eyes and gave him a wide smile. “It’s really very grand, it’s better than any of the other common rooms. The drapes are the _richest_ velvet.”

Light rolled his eyes. “Right, they have to compensate for the dungeon part somehow. Imagine someone sending Slytherin kids to bed, _I think it’s time to take you to the dungeons.”_

The girl laughed. “I can just _see_ the Hogwarts founders deciding on where to put their common rooms. Hufflepuff got dibs on the kitchen, Gryffindor was all for bloody medieval humour with the Fat Lady, Ravenclaw just thought heck, my emblem is an eagle so I pick a bloody tower…”

“And Slytherin sits in his corner deciding anyone who’s like him belongs in prison so he’d best get them used to it.” Light quipped.

The girl’s laugh was high and merry. She stumbled to the side and grabbed Light’s arm, clinging to it.

L felt a miserable knot in his stomach as he immediately turned on his heel and began to shuffle along with the crowd, sticking his hands into the pockets of his jeans and finding the leg of a chocolate frog. He wished he hadn’t left Luna. She had been good company to think around, even if she was a little out of it.

They were coming upon the Hogwarts castle now. Soon enough they would have to find McGonagall and ask about the Sorting ceremony. They weren’t first years, so they wouldn’t be expected to stand with eleven year olds in a line to sit under a musty old hat, would they?

“Hey, L! Over here!” He heard a chirpy female voice call, and then an arm had looped around his own, curly brown hair obscuring more than half of his visual field. “Where did you wander off back at King’s Cross? Ron was going near hysterical, saying you both got lost and didn’t board the train.” Hermione Granger chuckled, pulling him along. “Well anyway, where’s Light? Professor Flitwick was waiting for you two near the gate.”

L shrugged. “I am not aware where Light is. Where must I report?”

Hermione gave him a disbelieving look. “ _You’re_ not aware? Okay, what did that git do?”

L turned the force of his blank look on her, his black eyes glassy marbles. “I am an independent entity, Miss Granger. There is no reason for me to be attached to Raito-kun every moment of the day.”

“Oh, is that why you abandoned me, then?”

Light came up behind him, a teasing smirk on his face, the blond girl still clinging onto his arm as she swept her butter-yellow curls over her shoulder. “You’re such an asshole, L. I tried looking for you and everything.”

L cringed, turning pink. “I didn’t abandon you, Raito-kun. We got separated in the crowd.”

L could see Hermione’s eyes sharpen as she gave the other man a once-over. “Hello, Light. Greengrass.”

Light gave her a toothy smile. “Hey, Hermione. You said something about a professor waiting for us?”

The blond girl at his arm smirked. “Told you you’re going to be late to the Sorting. Just because _you_ know you’re Slytherin doesn’t mean the Hat does.”

Light’s coffee-coloured eyes sparkled as he laughed. “The fucking idea of a sentient hat reading my thoughts and classifying my personality.”

“I have no idea why that’s funny!” The girl giggled. “Merlin’s beard, you muggle-borns are weird.”

L was not amused, and was gratified to see that Hermione felt the same way. The brunette cleared her throat sternly. “Light, you really shouldn’t delay any longer. Flitwick won’t wait forever.”

Light nodded, giving the blond girl a quick smile. “I’ll see you later, then, Daphne.”

“In the dungeons! Don’t be late or I’ll send a troll to get you!” Daphne mock-threatened, shaking her forefinger at him. Light laughed indulgently and gave her a little wave before loping forward and lacing his fingers with L’s. He pulled him forward, scanning the area around the gates for Professors of any kind. L looked back at Hermione, feeling that knot tighten in his stomach, and felt strangely relieved seeing her disapproving glare directed at his partner.

“I think that’s him.” Light pointed at a short wheezing man in rich blue robes who tapped his feet impatiently every now and then before glancing worriedly into the Great Hall. Light snorted as Flitwick let out an exclamation upon sighting them and hurried over.

“You two! You are the unsorted muggle-borns Headmistress McGonagall told me of, correct? Yagami and Ryuuzaki? Right this way, come along.” He clapped his hands together and took them down a curving path to a second entrance to the right of the Great Hall.

Light squeezed L’s hand in his and gave him a teasing nudge in the ribs. “Looks like we’ll be standing with the eleven-year-olds after all.”

And L didn’t know if it was just in his imagination but Light’s breath smelled of lemon and lavender, the scents that had hung around Daphne Greengrass like a cloud of smoke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyya, guys! I know it's been awhile since I updated this story XD
> 
> I've been having problems coming up with ideas for this one. I have the basic outline set, but my imagination is just giving me so much trouble filling in the gaps XD
> 
> Would you guys be open to a prompt-based style to this story? I have another chapter perfected and ready to go, and you guys can give me suggestions for what you want me to put in after that in the comments!
> 
> I'd really appreciate it, I hate leaving stories unfinished :(
> 
> Review and comment!


	6. Sorting Hat

“Okay, L, _what_ is your problem?”

It was bad enough that they were standing in a tiny room filled with scared preteens stressing about the Sorting Ceremony as if it was some sort of national entrance exam rather than a few minutes under a musty centuries-old Hat (Light really hoped he didn’t catch something from under it, who knew how long it had spent inside whatever attic they stored it in?).

But of course, to make matters worse, L _refused_ to talk to him. Ever since they had been brought up a set of winding stairs to this room by the bumbling Flitwick, L had been quiet (and just to salt the wound, his accusatory stare ensured that Light couldn’t even chalk it up to the detective being lost in thought).

Light took a deep breath, closed his eyes and decided to give it another chance. He put on his friendliest, most innocent smile. “So, what House do you think you’ll be in?”

Nothing. Just a constant, unwavering glare and an additional shoving of his pale hands into the pockets of his baggy jeans (about the jeans, though, how come L was allowed to dress like a homeless person when every other person in the entire school was wearing dress robes? How did L always get his way?).

“Damn it, _Ryuuzaki_ , you can stop looking at me like I murdered Watari and tell me what I actually did.”

L gave him a shifty look. “It’s interesting how that statement would be considered an exaggeration if it was anybody else saying it.”

“Wow, L. Bring up Kira, that’s very mature of you.” Light rolled his eyes. “I just asked you which House you think you’ll be in. I don’t think that’s anything to be mad at me for.”

L scuffed the toes of his tennis shoes against the stone floor. “I am not angry with you because of your question, Raito-kun.”

 _Hah! A victory!_ “Then you _are_ angry with me! Tell me why, L. Is it because of something I did at King’s Cross? Is it because of Snape?” Light peered at the detective’s pale, stoic face. “No, you were okay then. I’m pretty sure you didn’t leave me behind on the train on purpose.” He frowned, crossing his arms. “Nothing happened during the train-ride, did it? Something go wrong with your case? Did I do something to mess it up for you?”

L shook his head, his eyes shadowed by his dark fringe. “My case is fine. It is proceeding quite well, to be honest.” He shook his head again and his cheeks turned red. “Drop it, Raito. Tell me, which House would you like me to be in?” The detective raised his head so his midnight eyes searched Light’s.

Light fidgeted, unnerved. Why was L acting…vulnerable? It was totally inappropriate in the current context, standing around with a bunch of children waiting to go take an instantaneous personality test. “S-Slytherin, of course. With me. Obviously.” He laughed nervously. “I think it’ll fit you pretty well. You’re a conniving bastard just as much as I am.”

L smiled wryly and inched a bit closer to the brunet. “That’s true.”

It struck Light all of a sudden, and he couldn’t help but smile. “You’re not mad because of Daphne, are you? Because the timings do match up.”

The detective abruptly tensed, and Light stifled his laugh by biting his lip hard. He darted a wide smile at the older man. “Oh, L, you’re not _jealous_ , are you?”

Unfortunately, it was in that very moment that a very large, very hairy man wearing what looked like several rucksacks sewn together rumbled into the room, banging the door open. He stroked his curly beard and gave the children a leer. “Ay, it’s the Firs’ Years. I’ve to take you to the Great Hall to be Sorted. Don’t ya worry, it doesn’t hurt, don’t need ta look so frightened. I’m Hagrid, the ol’ Groundskeeper of Hogwarts. Follow me now, I don’t bite. Oh, wait. I’ve ta talk to the two older kids in here. Ah, there ya are!”

The huge man ambled towards Light and L, towering over both of them as he stroked his beard. “Ya two are the muggle-borns never been Sorted, eh? Headmistress McGonagall told me to remind ya that you’re only getting admittance ‘coz of those muggle IQ test results Ron gave in, an’ the fact that you both saved Hogwarts last year. She wanted to tell you that you’ll be taking your NEWTs this year, so ya both gotta get good scores, ya hear?” Hagrid made a grumbling sound Light was pretty sure was meant to be reassuring. “The NEWTs are hard. I’ve never taken ‘em. ‘Course, that’s ‘coz I was expelled in me third year. You’ll do fine, though, don’t worry.”

He gestured with a large hand for the First Years to follow him. “Right this way, then! This way to the Great Hall!” He lumbered away through the large stone door into the room lit golden beyond it.

Light turned excitedly to L. “Look at the size of the guy! I wonder if they magically enhanced him or something. How does he even fit into his hut?”

L shrugged. “Yes, it would be cramped.”

Light burst out laughing, wrapping the detective in his arms, catching the attention of all the First Years filing neatly out after Hagrid. _“L!_ Stop being jealous, you fucking idiot!” He pressed the detective’s lips against his own, and much to his relief L responded in kind, his cold hands holding Light’s jaw and tracing his cheekbones. There were audible gasps from the First Years, who either made retching noises or cooed dreamily.

The detective pulled away, and his cheeks were flushed, his eyes sparkling brightly. “I’m sorry, this is quite embarrassing.”

“It should be! I need allies in Slytherin, and she was so obviously flirting with me, I thought it wouldn’t hurt. You didn’t have this problem with Misa, what’s different now?”

L smoothed his thumb over Light’s cheekbone, his fingers running through his soft rust-brown hair. “I did have a problem with Misa, Raito. I only thought it was prudent to hide it from you since you had no choice.”

“Then you’re an even bigger idiot than I thought.” Light ruffled L’s bushy black mane. “Next time, just tell me and I’ll gladly deprive the world of my charms.”

“What’s goin’ on here?” Hagrid’s booming voice came from the entranceway of the Great Hall, and the lumbering giant appeared, ducking slightly as he re-entered the room. “Why’d ya all stop? Follow me into the Great Hall! The Hat’s started its song!” As the First Years all turned their reproachful gazes to Light and L, the half-giant looked their way too and the two quickly stepped out of their embrace.

“Yeah, yeah, we’re coming.” Light muttered, cheeks growing hot. The giant, placated, shambled along back outside, followed by the rest of the First Years.

L caught Light’s wrist as he was about to follow the preteens out. “Wait, Raito. Listen. I…I am acting foolishly. I am not sure what is wrong with me, I don’t normally act this way, as you know.”

Light stopped him. “No, L, I get it-”

“Let me finish.” L squeezed his hand. “Raito, I understand how you work, and I love you this way. Don’t change because I’m being silly, flirt with the Slytherins if that is what you require. I’m sorry.”

Light didn’t quite know how to respond to that. Carefully, he cupped L’s face, speaking cautiously. “L…it’s my fault. Don’t apologise. I really don’t think about how anything affects you, you just always seem to not give a shit.” He chuckled. “I won’t do anything that hurts you. At least, not on purpose.”

“And you won’t be hurting me. I refuse to be such a clingy idiot, it is not who I am. Act how you always do, Raito-kun, pretend this discussion never happened.”

Light cocked his head, his lips curved in a slight smirk. “You sure? Because I’ll take you at your word.”

“I am sure, Raito-kun.” L straightened up so that he could place a gentle kiss on Light’s forehead. “Now come on, we don’t need Hagrid walking in on us again.”

Light laughed as they exited the stone room together and entered the Great Hall with their fingers intertwined.

* * *

“Finally, you decide to show up! Mr. Yagami and Mr. Ryuuzaki, this does not show us a very rosy picture of you at all, no, no, no.” The highly excitable Flitwick buzzed around them, bumbling and, yes, flitting around as he shooed them into line. “We’re already into the M’s, it’s a good thing you turned up in time for the R’s or who knows, we may have had to expel you, Mr. Ryuuzaki!”

L seemed highly unimpressed, so Light decided it was up to him to calm the situation. He bowed deeply to emphasise just how foreign he was. “So sorry, Professor Flitwick. We happened to get distracted. It shall not happen again.”

“It better not.” The teacher huffed, crossing his arms and joining the array of professors beside the Sorting Hat. Light noticed that Snape was with them too, though perhaps slightly excluded from the rest of them, his hooked nose high in the air and robed arms crossed as if none of this was worth his time.

“Perkins, Anna!”

_“Hufflepuff!”_

There was suddenly a relentless tapping at Light’s elbow. “Raito-kun, look at the Slytherin table!” L hissed in his ear. Light chuckled.

“What’s up, Ryuuzaki?” He looked over and immediately spotted who L was referring to. His eyes widened as they met nervous grey eyes that immediately looked away in panic.

“Shit.” Light glanced at Ryuuzaki, then back at the impossibly alive white-blond boy sitting with the rest of the Eighth Years at the Slytherin table. “Holy shit.”

“Prescott, Travis!”

_“Hufflepuff!”_

“I told you there is a plan afoot. Voldemort was not quite as incompetent as he appeared, I’m afraid.” L sounded way too smug for someone who was uncovering a magical conspiracy set up by the man they had effectively assassinated. Light gave him a withering look.

“Rosier, Alvin!”

_“Slytherin!”_

“I bet there’s some other reason, L.” Light whispered. “Maybe…maybe Rem’s death reversed theirs or something, I don’t know. She did get sand in their bodies and who knows what that does.”

L hummed. “You have a point, though I think you are in denial because you feel grateful to Professor Snape.”

“Ryuuzaki, Rue!”

L blinked when Light elbowed him hard in the ribs. The detective looked up through his black fringe at the stage and sighed before slumping his way up the stairs. He stopped in front of the smouldering Professor Flitwick, who unceremoniously whipped the Sorting Hat from its cushion and held it out until L plopped himself down on the waiting stool.

Light suppressed a laugh as Flitwick jammed the Hat onto L’s head, falling so it pressed his fringe down into his eyes. The detective drew his knees up onto his perch, making the stool wobble dangerously, and stroked his bottom lip with the base of his thumb.

It took a few minutes for the Hat to decide, much longer than it had for any of the First Years before them, but L himself seemed quite comfortable, chewing contentedly on his thumbnail until finally, the seam of the Hat ripped open to reveal its gaping mouth.

 _“Ravenclaw!”_ It cried in a booming voice, and Light’s stomach sank. He watched as L uncurled himself from his seat into his usual hunch, his eyes hooded as he shuffled down the stage towards the cheering and hooting blue table, which welcomed him just about immediately. Luna Lovegood in particular seemed pleased, whispering something to him in a dreamy, tinkling voice as she moved over to give him a spot to sit.

“Shafiq, Lara!”

_“Gryffindor!”_

“Travers, Theodore!”

_“Hufflepuff!”_

Light was fuming. Of course L had to be a Ravenclaw. It was so typical of him. And for him to just walk off without a backward glance?

“Widdershins, Polly!”

_“Hufflepuff!”_

Whatever, it would take more than L to rain on his parade.

“Yagami, Light!”

Light strolled casually up the stairs, that stiffly polite smirk on his face as if he knew all these ceremonies were a waste of time and yes, maybe he was a twenty-year-old college student in a long line of eleven-year-olds but that didn’t matter in the slightest. He was hot enough and smart enough to compensate for anything.

It felt like a repeat of his To-oh initiation, when he had been called up to give his speech. L had tried to ruin that ceremony too, crashing his solo moment onstage by tying with him in the entrance exam and becoming joint first-ranker, but it hadn’t worked. Light hadn’t lost his cool, and he never would.

The brunet sat primly down on the stool, which was high enough to have him not look like a big brother playing make-believe with his sister (he had enough experience with that), and ducked his head slightly so Flitwick could place the hat on him.

The Sorting Hat was huge. It folded over and its brim fell over his eyes, making him look more like a child than ever. Light closed his eyes and hoped he didn’t look as embarrassed as he felt. He heard a deep chuckling in his ear and really, really hoped it wasn’t Flitwick.

The chuckling grew louder. _Well, well. We can rule out Hufflepuff at least._

The voice was a rumbling baritone that resembled a much more cultured form of Hagrid’s, whispering in the depths of his mind. It felt like Voldemort’s Parseltongue had, complete with the invasive feeling of something burrowing into his memories and sifting through them.

_Oh my. For such a decisive person, Light Yagami, you are quite the dilemma._

Light was sceptical. “Why?” He whispered. “Am I not a Slytherin?”

_Slytherin, eh? You certainly seem to think so, as does just about everyone you meet. I’m keeping it on hold, though, due to your blood status. I hesitate to place muggle-borns or, as in your case, special muggles into Slytherin due to the House’s traditions and values._

There was a pause, and Light frowned, feeling the Hat dig further through him.

_You certainly have the brains to be a Ravenclaw, and the appreciation for knowledge. However, they say wit for wit’s sake is the mark of a Raven, so let’s rule that out as well._

“Actually, no, I’d actually like to be in Ravenclaw.”

The voice turned a touch sterner. _You cannot choose a House just because your friends are in it. If it were that easy, why have a Sorting Hat at all?_

“I don’t know. I don’t know why anyone would ever need a Sorting Hat. Put me in Ravenclaw.”

_See, it’s words like these that make me doubt your inclination to Slytherin. Perhaps in your Kira personality it would have been an easier choice. Now, though, look at you. You have courage and strength of will. You have a deep loyalty and protective instinct to your friends, though you may not know it consciously. Your pride is through the roof. Your sense of justice is stronger than most Gryffindors and while most of your journey as Kira had been to gain power for yourself, you gave up the power and allowed yourself to lose in order to save another’s life. Without the intoxication of the Death Note, all you have is your hatred for those who break your moral code. A typical Gryffindor._

Light jumped as a loud clang came from behind him. Someone had just struck a gong. “Hatstall!”

 _“Hatstall?”_ Light whispered furiously. “Put me in a damn House, you useless fucking dustbucket. Are you broken or something?”

_And there, we have recklessness down as well. Even before you picked up the Death Note you would have been a Slytherin. It would have been easy, with your great ambitions and cunning. Now, you lack any ambition. Your only goal is to continue as you are right now, you are perfectly content solving mysteries with your lover and playing around with the magical world. You have cunning and a manipulative streak, which is the only reason I am considering Slytherin at all._

“Bullshit, of course I have ambition! I need to prove I’m the best all the time, even I know that. Seriously, are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

The Hat seemed to sigh.

_Unfortunately, proving that they are the best is a trait Gryffindor and Slytherin share in common. It is not the same as ambition. For you to understand my dilemma, I shall show you how I work. Whenever I am confused about whether to put someone in Gryffindor or Slytherin, I ask myself a question. Would they kill for someone or die for them? A Slytherin would take the position with power, never putting themselves in harm’s way unless they have no choice. However, you have sacrificed yourself not once, not twice, but three times for others. Once when you admitted to being Kira with no guarantee of L sparing your life, once when you were shot and refused to allow your friends to heal you as they would have been caught by Death Eaters, and the third time when you literally died for someone you hardly knew._

The gong was struck again, twice, almost startling Light out of his skin. “True Hatstall!” Professor Flitwick announced in his amplified voice. Light realised, to his absolute mortification, that the Great Hall was more silent than it had ever been throughout his time here.

His face heated up. “Goddamn it, put me in Slytherin. You and I both know I belong there.”

_Did you not hear any of my reasoning? I’m telling you I believe you belong in Gryffindor!_

Light lifted the brim of the hat, eyeing the crowd. “Um, Professor Flitwick?” He started tentatively. “I think the Hat is broken.” The bumbling professor turned pale, his eyes boggling out. Just before he could snatch the Hat off of Light’s head, though, the its seam tore violently open and an infuriated voice spilled out.

“I am not broken! How dare you suggest that my venerated substance can be any less than perfect? I am the Thinking Cap! The Sorting Hat! A possession of Godric Gryffindor himself! Put me back on, you insufferable wizard!”

Flitwick now turned a sickly shade of purple. “Put it back on, Mr. Yagami.”

Light groaned and dropped his hand, letting the brim fall back down over his eyes.

_Insufferable muggle, I cannot believe you dared to suggest such a thing to the entire castle. I have a good mind to put you in Slytherin for that!_

“Then put me in Slytherin for God’s sake! That’s what I _want!”_ Light realised that he wasn’t whispering anymore seconds after the words left his mouth, but he couldn’t bring himself to give a single shit. The Hat made a strange rumbling sound.

 _Oh, that is what you_ want _, is it? Well, in that case…_

Light widened his eyes. “Wait, no.”

_“Gryffindor!”_

Light ripped the cackling Hat from his head and held it accusatorily at Professor Flitwick. “This thing did that on purpose!”

Flitwick wilted slightly under the force of Light’s glare. “W-well…the Hat does know best…”

“Bullshit it knows best! It put me in Gryffindor out of _spite_ , because I told it I want Slytherin!” Light raged, and Flitwick backed away, raising his palms in the air as if to calm a rabid dog. Of all people, Hagrid approached him, lumbering on with his hand in his beard.

“Now, now, ya gotta calm down, kid, it’s not so bad not ta be in Slytherin…” Hagrid delicately took the Hat from his hands. “Gryffindor’s a great House…” The seam of the Hat ripped and it let out a malicious cackle that was so much like Ryuk’s that Light saw red.

“Just look at that! It’s _laughing_ at me! You can’t accept its decision, it’s biased against me!”

“Mr _._ Yagami!” A stern voice came from the other side of the room, near the main podium where the Headmistress sat in her gallery. Light looked over to see Headmistress McGonagall standing straight in front of her chair, her chin lifted disapprovingly. “This is not the kind of behaviour I expected from you. Seat yourself at the Gryffindor table this minute!”

Light stared blankly at her, and the blood rushed to his face. _He’d lost his cool_. He’d lost his cool because of a dirty patchwork hat, _in front of the entire school_. What happened to perfect Light Yagami who could be calm and collected at all times, even when a world-famous detective popped up out of nowhere and revealed that he suspected him of being a murderer?

He had never been so ashamed of himself in his life.

“Sorry, I…sorry.” He ducked his head and walked quickly off the stage, making a beeline for the scarlet Gryffindor table, which, to its credit, gave him a loud, whooping cheer. He was grateful for that, considering he had just insulted their entire spirit and told them he preferred Slytherin over them.

Fuck, he had played the cards all wrong. Every single card. Fuck.

He slid into the nearest available space for him, the gap next to Neville Longbottom, not noticing Ron and Hermione sitting a few spaces away hurrying to make room for him. He barely managed not to slump his head onto the desk and shut the whole world out. No, he couldn’t do that, he barely had a thread of dignity left.

He sat up straight, keeping his eyes fixed forward and only actually moving when he felt a sympathetic pat on his upper arm.

To his side, Neville was now squeezing his shoulder. “I know how that feels, mate. I had wanted to be in Hufflepuff. I’d planned it out and everything, I’d make friends with Hannah Abbott and have a jolly old time. Ended up in Gryffindor instead.”

Light waited a beat for the happy ending and Neville did not disappoint.

“Bet I’d have been happier in Hufflepuff.” The pudgy boy sighed.

Light cocked an incredulous eyebrow at his neighbour. “Is that somehow supposed to make me feel better?”

Neville pursed his lips. “You’ll get used to it.” Pause. “In the meantime, we have feasts!”

And really, Light thought, Neville was right. He tried not to think about his crushed dreams of his reign of Slytherin terror, instead focussing on all the food he was going to fucking eat when the Headmistress was done with her fucking speech.

Light finally put his head down and tried not to scream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaha!
> 
> Also, the wait for the next chapter will be a bit long (damn writer's block) but thanks for the prompts so far! They're really helping!
> 
> Review and comment! And prompt, if you have ideas!


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